THIS is the fifth Time I have appear’d in Publick, chalking out the future Year for my honest Countrymen, and foretelling what shall, and what may, and what may not come to pass; in which I have the Pleasure to find that I have given general Satisfaction. Indeed, among the Multitude of our astrological Predictions, ‘tis no wonder if some few fail; for, without any Defect in the Art itself, ‘tis well known that a small Error, a single wrong Figure overseen in a Calculation, may occasion great Mistakes: But however we Almanack-makers may miss it in other Things, I believe it will be generally allow’d That we always hit the Day of the Month, and that I suppose is esteem’d one of the most useful Things in an Almanack.
As to the Weather, if I were to fall into the Method my Brother J----n sometimes uses, and tell you, Snow here or in New England, Rain here or in South-Carolina, Cold to the Northward, Warm to the Southward, and the like, whatever Errors I might commit, I should be something more secure of not being detected in them: But I consider, it will be of no Service to any body to know what Weather it is 1000 miles off, and therefore I always set down positively what Weather my Reader will have, be he where he will at the time. We modestly desire only the favourable Allowance of a day or two before and a day or two after the precise Day against which the Weather is set; and if it does not come to pass accordingly, let the Fault be laid upon the Printer, who, ‘tis very like, may have transpos’d or misplac’d it, perhaps for the Conveniency of putting in his Holidays: And since, in spight of all I can say, People will give him great part of the Credit of making my Almanacks, ‘tis but reasonable he should take some share of the Blame.
I must not omit here to thank the Publick for the gracious and kind Encouragement they have hitherto given me: But if the generous Purchaser of my Labours could see how often his Fi’-pence helps to light up the comfortable Fire, line the Pot, fill the Cup and make glad the Heart of a poor Man and an honest good old Woman, he would not think his Money ill laid out, tho’ the Almanack of his
The Use of Money is all the Advantage there is in having Money. For 6l. a Year, you may have the Use of 100l. if you are a Man of known Prudence and Honesty. He that spends a Groat a day idly, spends idly above 6l. a year, which is the Price of using 100l. He that wastes idly a Groat’s worth of his Time per Day, one Day with another, wastes the Privilege of using 100 l. each Day. He that idly loses 5s. worth of time, loses 5s. & might as prudently throw 5s. in the River. He that loses 5 s. not only loses that Sum, but all the Advantage that might be made by turning it in Dealing, which by the time that a young Man becomes old, amounts to a comfortable Bag of Mony. Again, He that sells upon Credit, asks a Price for what he sells, equivalent to the Principal and Interest of his Money for the Time he is like to be kept out of it: therefore He that buys upon Credit, pays Interest for what he buys. And he that pays ready Money, might let that Money out to Use: so that He that possesses any Thing he has bought, pays Interest for the Use of it. Consider then, when you are tempted to buy any unnecessary Housholdstuff, or any superfluous thing, whether you will be willing to pay Interest, and Interest upon Interest for it as long as you live; and more if it grows worse by using. Yet, in buying Goods, ‘tis best to pay ready Money, because, He that sells upon Credit, expects to lose 5 per Cent. by bad Debts; therefore he charges, on all he sells upon Credit, an Advance that shall make up that Deficiency. Those who pay for what they buy upon Credit, pay their Share of this Advance. He that pays ready Money, escapes or may escape that Charge. A Penny sav’d is Twopence clear, A Pin a day is a Groat a Year. Save & have. Every little makes a mickle.
God offer’d to the jews salvation And ’twas refus’d by half the Nation: Thus, (tho’ ’tis Life’s great Preservation) Many oppose inoculation. We’re told by one of the black Robe The Devil inoculated Job: Suppose ’tis true, what he does tell; Pray, Neighbours, Did not Job do well? The greatest monarch on the proudest throne, is oblig’d to sit upon his own arse. The Master piece of Man, is to live to the purpose. He that steals the old man’s supper, do’s him no wrong.
The Thracian Infant, entring into Life, Both Parents mourn for, both receive with Grief: The Thracian Infant snatch’d by Death away, Both Parents to the Grave with Joy convey. This, Greece and Rome, you with Derision view; This is meer Thracian Ignorance to you: But if you weigh the Custom you despise, This Thracian Ignorance may teach the wise. A countryman between 2 Lawyers, is like a fish between two cats. He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities. The misers cheese is wholesomest. Felix quem, &c.
Doris, a Widow, past her Prime, Her Spouse long dead, her Wailing doubles; Her real Griefs increase by Time; What might abate, improves her Troubles. Those Pangs her prudent Hopes supprest, Impatient now, she cannot smother, How should the helpless Woman rest? One’s gone; nor can she get another. Love & lordship hate companions. The nearest way to come at glory, is to do that for conscience which we do for glory. There is much money given to be laught at, though the purchasers don’t know it; witness A’s fine horse, & B’s fine house.
A Nymph and a Swain to Apollo once pray’d; The Swain had been jilted, the Nymph been betray’d They came for to try if his Oracle knew E’er a Nymph that was chast or a Swain that was true Apollo stood mute, and had like t’have been pos’d; At length he thus sagely the question disclos’d: He alone may be true in whom none will confide, And the nymph may be chast that has never been tryd. He that can compose himself, is wiser than he that composes books. Poor Dick, eats like a well man, and drinks like a sick. After crosses and losses men grow humbler & wiser. Love, Cough, & a Smoke, can’t well be hid.
Rich Gripe does all his Thoughts & Cunning bend T’ encrease that Wealth he wants the Soul to spend: Poor Shifter does his whole Contrivance set, To spend that Wealth he wants the Sense to get. How happy would appear to each his Fate, Had Gripe his Humour, or he Gripe’s Estate? Kind Fate and Fortune, blend ’em if you can, And of two Wretches make one happy Man. Well done is better than well said. Fine linnen, girls and gold so bright, Chuse not to take by candle-light. He that can travel well afoot, keeps a good horse. There are no ugly Loves, nor handsome Prisons. No better relation than a prudent & faithful Friend.
Boy, bring a Bowl of China here, Fill it with Water cool and clear: Decanter with Jamaica right, And Spoon of Silver clean and bright, Sugar twice-fin’d, in pieces cut, Knife, Sieve and Glass, in order put, Bring forth the fragrant Fruit, and then We’re happy till the Clock strikes Ten. A Traveller should have a hog’s nose, deer’s legs, and an ass’s back. At the working man’s house hunger looks in but dares not enter. A good Lawyer a bad Neighbour.
Impudent Jack, who now lives by his Shifts, Borrowing of Driblets, boldly begging Gifts; For Twenty Shillings lent him t’other day (By one who ne’er expected he would pay) On his Friend’s Paper fain a Note wou’d write; His Friend, as needless, did refuse it quite; Paper was scarce, and ’twas too hard, it’s true, To part with Cash, and lose his Paper too. Certainlie these things agree, The Priest, the Lawyer, & Death all three: Death takes both the weak and the strong. The lawyer takes from both right and wrong, And the priest from living and dead has his Fee. The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise.
On his Death-bed poor Lubin lies; His Spouse is in Despair; With frequent Sobs, and mutual Cries, They both express their Care. A diff’rent cause, says Parson Sly, The same Effect may give; Poor Lubin fears that he shall die; His Wife, that he may live. Don’t misinform your Doctor nor your Lawyer. I never saw an oft-transplanted tree, Nor yet an oft-removed family, That throve so well as those that settled be.
To morrow you’ll reform, you always cry; In what far Country does this Morrow lie, That ’tis so mighty long e’er it arrive? Beyond the Indies does this Morrow live? ’Tis so far-fetch’d, this Morrow, that I fear, ’Twill be both very old, and very dear. To-morrow I’ll reform, the Fool does say: To day it self’s too late; the Wise did yesterday. Three good meals a day is bad living. Let the Letter stay for the Post, and not the Post for the Letter. Tis better leave for an enemy at one’s death, than beg of a friend in one’s life. To whom thy secret thou dost tell, To him thy freedom thou dost sell.
Indulgent Nature to each kind bestows, A secret Instinct to discern its Foes: The Goose, a silly Bird, avoids the Fox; Lambs fly from Wolves; & Sailors steer from rocks; A Rogue the Gallows, as his Fate, foresees, And bears the like Antipathy to Trees. If you’d have a Servant that you like, serve your self. He that pursues two Hares at once, does not catch one and lets t’other go. If you want a neat wife, chuse her on a Saturday. If you have time dont wait for time.
You say you’ll spend Five hundred Pound The World and Men to know, And take a Tour all Europe round, Improving as you go. Dear Sam, in search of others sense, Discover not your own; But wisely double the Expence That you may pass unknown. Tell a miser he’s rich, and a woman she’s old, you’ll get no money of one, nor kindness of t’other. Don’t go to the doctor with every distemper, nor to the lawyer with every quarrel, nor to the pot for every thirst.
Women are Books, and Men the Readers be, Who sometimes in those Books Erratas see; Yet oft the Reader’s raptur’d with each Line, Fair Print and Paper fraught with Sense divine; Tho’ some neglectful seldom care to read, And faithful Wives no more than Bibles heed. Are Women Books? says Hodge, then would mine were An Almanack, to change her every Year. The Creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times. The noblest question in the world is What Good may I do in it? Nec sibi, sed toto, genitum se credere mundo. Nothing so popular as GOODNESS.
There will be four Eclipses this Year, two of the Sun and two of the Moon.
The first is a great and visible Eclipse of the Sun, Feb. 18. beginning at 8 h. 1 m. A.M. middle at 9 h. 11 m. end at 10 h. 20 m. Digits eclipsed near nine, on the upper side of the Sun.
The second is of the Moon, March 5. at 10 h. 34 m. in the morning, therefore invisible here.
The third is of the Sun, Aug. 14. at 7 h. 30 m. P.M. invisible also.
The fourth is a visible Defect of the Moon, Aug. 28. beginning 9 h. 40 m. P.M. the middle at 10 h. 51 m. End near midnight. Digits eclipsed five & a quarter.
In my last, on the second Eclipse, which was of the Moon, March, 1736. celebrated in ♎ or the Balance, I hinted, That Germany would be weighed and found wanting. The Course of the Year (I speak without Boasting) has verified that Prediction; for that Empire now weighed in the Balance of Europe, is found to want two Kingdoms, to wit Naples & Sicily. May the Doubts I expressed concerning the Empire itself, prove groundless as to Germany, and be verified in the Turkish Dominion. Tekel, Peres.
In my last I published some Enigmatical Prophecies, which I did not expect any one would take for serious Predictions. The Explanation I promised, follows, viz.
1. The Water of the Sea and Rivers is raised in Vapours by the Sun, is form’d into Clouds in the Air, and thence descends in Rain. Now when there is Rain overhead, (which frequently happens when the Wind is at N.E.) the Cities and Places on the Earth below, are certainly under Water.
2. The Power with which we were not then at War, but which, it was said, would take many full laden Vessels out of our Ports before the End of the Year, is The WIND, whose Forces also are not descried either coming or going.
3. The Army which it was said would land in Virginia, Maryland, and the Lower Counties on Delaware, were not Musketeers with Guns on their Shoulders as some expected; but their Namesakes, in Pronunciation, tho’ truly spelt Moschitos, arm’d only with a sharp Sting. Every one knows they are Fish before they fly, being bred in the Water; and therefore may properly be said to land before they become generally troublesome.
E’er of this odd odd Year one Month has roll’d, What Wonders, Reader, shall the World behold! Four Kings with mighty Force shall Albion's Isle Infest with Wars and Tumults for a while; Then some shall unexpected Treasures gain, While some mourn o’er an empty Purse in vain: And many a christian’s Heart shall ake for Fear, When they the dreadful Sound of Trump shall hear. Dead Bones shall then be tumbled up and down, In every City and in every Town.